Call it what you want, because I don't know either.

Don't know what the hell is wrong with me that is. Depression? Psychosis? Just an emotionless bitch?
Being in whatever this is has made me a different person who is dead inside. I care about the things that don't matter, and the things that do...don't even phase me or get any consideration.
When asked to describe themselves, most people say things like "friendly, fun, loving, a good friend, hardworking, compassionate..." I know this because those are the things I used to say about myself. Thank God nobody is asking lately, because right now I'd have to answer "self centered, critical, angry, incapable of love, uncaring, unmotivated..."
I'm not happy, and I resent my life, but have no desire to end it. My priorities have completely flipped and taken of a life of their own. I'm beginning to become distracted with and interested in things like money, nice things, and superficial feelings. Things that have always just been "things" that don't matter or make a difference about who someone is. But lately it's like I've had this warped sense of perception that "things" will make life more comfortable for me. I know that no matter what I possess, or have around me, the inside will stay the same, but for some reason I just keep hitting that wall. So much hate and anger inside from years of bad decisions and emotional damage, have just built up into a solid mass that I can't even begin to chip away at. I've tried, and I'm still trying. But it seems like every step towards progress that is made, results in a roadblock going up in another path. My heart is as disorganized and empty as my thoughts are, and this is my own release without fear of blatant or direct judgement.