Shit...I'm having comatose itunes adventures.

Because of my ridiculous anxiety and insomnia issues (we'll get to that later), I have to pretty much roofie myself to sleep. Most of the time it works out great, but sometimes there are complications in the form of adventures I don't remember. There have been a few of the sexual kind, but that was mostly when I was drinking too. Even worse than that though, are the shopping kind. I just got an email from itunes. A receipt for some downloads that I've purchased over the past week. Among them? Lionel Richie's Greatest Hits, and..are ya ready for this? "Smell Yo Dick", by an "amazing" artist named Riskay. I have no recollection of these purchases, but I know it was me, since both of these musical acts are guilty pleasures of mine. Lionel Richie is more than just a guilty pleasure I guess, because I really do love him, but "Riskay"? Well...if you are unfamiliar with her or her song, I'm gonna suggest you read this post from Whitney Cummings, one of my favorite Funny Ladies, because she really does it justice in describing it.


You can read this and more, at her amazingly funny blog, www.princesscomplex.com


SMELL YO DICK

Romeo and Juliet. Gone With The Wind. The Notebook. Smell Yo Dick. This is my favorite love story. I want to be in this romance, I want to be lounging around in what can only be a Jessica McClintock bustier and yelling about a “stripper/hoe” named Diamond.

I have to be honest. I’m not sure if I could tell if a guy cheated on me by smelling his dick. Call me square, but I’m more of a go through your cell phone kind of girl. Dick smelling isn’t really a sure fire way to tell. I mean, most dicks smell pretty terrible when your man hasn’t cheated on you. A dick smelling like a strippers vagina would actually be a huge improvement. I’d probably think it was romantic. I happen to love CK1.

I love that in the video her boyfriend who she thinks is cheating on her is clinically obese. Nice touch. Make sure to stay tuned for his retort at 2:15. I also love that she bleaches his clothes in the end. I gotta remember that one.

*This vid can’t be imbedded anymore so follow the link to YouTube for it’s charms.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gC8GTmX2G5w&feature=player_embedded