I miss you, you crazy frickin no good lunatic!

It's almost your birthday (which is inevitable to bring you to my mind),
I haven't heard from you since the last time I made it clear that I have no interest in talking to you (which is a relief, but a little alarming),
And I just downloaded a new Eminem CD (this is a given to make me think of you, always has, always will).
Brings me back to being 22 when we were happy in the most unlikely of situations. Well, shit, I guess I really can't say if you were happy or not, but more importantly, I was happy. I was happy being ME. You were one of the best and worst things to ever happen in my life. So much bad came from me saying yes, and agreeing to that initial communication with you, but damn...if I had never opened that envelope, and picked up a pen, there is a whole lotta good, and learning experiences that would have never come my way, so the good outweighs the bad.
I guess I don't miss you, because I don't even know the "you" that has come to be. I miss the you that had become part of my routine, whether that was the real one, or just a character, thats the one I mourn for. More than missing that person for me, I miss him for you. He was good for you, and whether you really enjoyed those years of your life or you were just getting by..for the most part, it was a beautiful thing to watch. So much passion, so much potential, so much pain, so much fire in your heart, the good and the bad.
My hope is that maybe someday, that soul will grow back and you'll be whole again, or that the void will be filled or atleast patched up enough to proceed on to the life you know you deserve.